At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
