physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
