he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
