I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
only if we run a train.
done.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
