half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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