It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
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Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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