I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
