Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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