To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
