More tranny stories later!
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I am midnight drunk by noon
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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