it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
home. puking in laundry basket.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize