omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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