I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
