I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
