Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize