he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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