if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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