Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
is wine microwaveable?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
