I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
