Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
