just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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