I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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