my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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