Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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