I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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