Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
