They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
