I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
wow bdsm is so cute
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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