I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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