I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
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I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
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