New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
