Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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