It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
