I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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