dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
