he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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