Don't make out with my wife yet
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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