How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
