how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
