Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
