I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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