I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
