I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
