i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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