Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
