i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
