did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
birth control should be required to get into college
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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