I wannas sexs uuuuu
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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