That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He did a backflip because drugs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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