my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
