I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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