cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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