Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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