Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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