I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
