this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize