I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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