Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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