I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
