Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
