I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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