Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
