smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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