Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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