Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
All I want is dick and wine.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
