Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
