And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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