Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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