thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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