Heybabeimwearingurpanties
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
