Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
